I’ve tried to write this blog post three times in the past month. I deleted every draft, apparently it’s hard for me to talk about soft power strategies for professionals without sounding like a total asshole. However I committed to using this blog to share the real tactics I apply with clients in private practice, so let’s dive in.

Soft power is also known as diplomacy. Here’s a definition: “a persuasive approach to international relations, typically involving the use of economic or cultural influence.”

All of my clients graduate as diplomacy warriors.

It’s a great choice to mind your soft power. How are you accruing goodwill, showing warmth, returning favors, and building meaningful human bonds either among your client base or in the workplace?

You likely are either overdoing it or under doing it. This is a strange category where most people have a distorted perception of their own actions. So I’m here with tips.

Let’s begin with the title of the first blog draft I deleted: “The Holidays are for Soft Power.”
See? Total jerk.
But it’s true.

The four weeks in the U.S. between Thanksgiving and Christmas are a time when boundaries loosen and you can make beautiful, visual gestures that impact not only those closest to you, like your team, but the people in the departments you regularly interface with, the tier directly above you, and always and most crucially –your direct reports and clients.

One of my clients is considering catered cookie displays for each team that reports to her. Another prefers personal gifts. International or remote team? Use e-cards and video. The ways in which these gestures bring joy are wonderful, but the optics are even juicier.

Most strategies for advancement that we craft together require you, at some important moment, to draw upon the reserves of trust you have accrued with colleagues, c-suite and clients. They power your rise. Take this time to fill the banks. I mean –spread cheer!

As always, be thoughtful about the nuances of each gesture you chose. If you opt for too expensive of a gesture it can make people uncomfortable, too feminine of a gesture can be difficult if you’re in a high power environment, and of course too cheap communicates poorly as well.

Not a Christmas person? That’s fine, do something anyway.
Participating in the cultural moment is what works this month, and it would be a shame to skip it.

That’s the spirit!