It took at least fifteen minutes to find my running shoes, they should have been in the shoe rack. Once I finally got them on and stepped outside, Spotify kept blinking in and out on my bluetooth headset.

The forecast said clouds but it felt like drizzle, and it was probably just going to rain — Seattle weather likes to flaunt the forecast. 

Even if I had to run in my jeans like it was 1965 I was going to head out. All my ability to perform hung in the balance. Discipline as a professional, capacity in parenting, mental game, personal integrity. 

“Another Fucking Growth Opportunity,” I said to the crows as the playlist kicked in. The street was deserted, some curtains moved, everyone was inside.

I’ve likely been coasting on the decade and a half of personal growth, searching, healing and breakthroughs I logged before getting into having kids.

Those were the days of ashrams, therapy cults, consciousness-raising, depth work, books on Jung, neuroscience and social psychology. 

Those were the days when I could sink into personal questions at the core of self-worth and permission to succeed, climb through their interconnected networks until I arrived at the lookout point, the viewpoint the question afforded, and take in the new landscape. 

There were days when I could practically feel neurons, nervous-system, epigenes and my vocabulary rearranging themselves.

No longer. That was then. 

Deliverables, urgency, timelines, the overlapping calendar invites of business growth, team cadence, professional success, and financial planning plus parenting itself have dominated the landscape for years.

Life is truly great these days, even minus the ashrams. I had no need for change.

When a busy client is looking for answers and breakthroughs, I impart to them my favorite hack: Take this hard topic on a run (or to your workout). I just love the way the endorphins plus solitude can surface good answers to sticky questions, fast. 

Faster than 10 days in a silent meditation center eating cabbage bowls.

In normal times the sticky questions sound like: “Was that leader right in his feedback?” and “What might I be missing in this proposal?” or “Have I coached this direct report enough?” etc. 

In the year of our lord two thousand and twenty when all of earth’s humanity is held captive in their homes and apartments as a pandemic sweeps the land the sticky questions have expanded to include existential matters of the self. 

A wise leader knows to harness this time of reflection, when deeper meaning is much closer to the surface —and reap the executive growth that comes with it. 

So you lean into it, even if the growth opportunity does bear a striking resemblance to the one person you were truly hoping to never see again after high school. Such. A. Dick.

Questions, now that we have been banished to our home offices and front yards might sound like: “Is this really my life?” and “Is this how it developed while I was away at work?” or “When will this end?” or “What daily coping mechanisms are not useful for me?” and —

“Who am I, now?” 

I ran towards Elliot Bay, spitting and hissing at a pandemic that had interrupted my big plans, business trajectory, and which I wanted very badly to end.

Inside, the sticky questions started to unsnarl.

Faster than a twelve-year stint in an international therapy cult I saw that I needed more simplicity and more structure. 

A mini-mental fortress against the chaos.

I was already maxing out on decision making from one day to the next before big issues like death, the dismantling of social norms and workflows were thrown into the mix. 

In addition to simplicity, I wanted a framework that would help ease my resistance to the pandemic, a framework that would instead assist me in more completely integrating to the “new now.” Because this is not going to end very soon.

As I pounded along the water I remembered something I used to know: 

When faced with existential questions, humans need to make meaning -of ourselves, our experiences, our realities. This is where art comes from. Also religion.

You may have felt an unusual tug towards beauty, art, meaning, craftsmanship, depth in some small ways in the past weeks. That would be normal. 

What opportunities exist for each of us to experience even greater meaning in our daily lives, our daily work efforts, in our daily moments? 

What opportunities exist in each of our lives to pivot towards just one or two items that add meaning – such as music, craftsmanship, sport, literature, community building, etc? 

Meaning can create stability. 

It’s not bad to notice the drive to create meaning is higher now than it has been in recent times.

It’s not bad to give yourself a boost in this way.

The framework I selected, watching the waves crash against the cement walls on Alki, is custom for the person I happen to be right now and the stage of my life I happen to be in. Yours will be too. For what’s it worth mine is: “read, write, give” these are the choices that steer me back to the present moment, put me in the joints of my body, clear my head, enable clean decision making.  

I wonder what choices, options, frameworks might best suit the person you are right now, at this stage in your life? I wonder what your custom set of choices or words might be?

I ask myself about mine at each inflection point in the day — I ask myself how my actions align with the framework I chose. 

If I discover that whatever I’m being drawn to do is out of sync with my little frame, I re-set.

So far, so good. Less churn, less resistance — more focus, more discipline, more mileage.

Your coach,

Laura

Ps. Take it on a run.